Who wants baseball tickets?
We’ve got tickets for Sunday’s baseball game. Big thanks to Esme’s HawaiiMoms.com and The Advertiser marketing department for the donations. So, if you want them. Tell us a (clean) joke. We’ll pick winners this afternoon:
* * *
If everything goes according to plan, colleges will have to adjust their list of Hawai‘i’s football prospects.
Kaiana Eldredge, a quarterback and pitcher at Cedar High in Utah, has applied to Punahou School for his senior year (2009-2010).
Kaiana is 6 feet and 185 pounds. Cedar runs an option offense. But before that, Kaiana had played in a dropback offense.
Kaiana comes from the promiment Eldredge family. The Patriarch, Dave Eldredge, was a coach for more than 50 years.
Kaiana’s father, David “Boy” Eldredge, is the head baseball coach at Southern Utah University.
Pal Eldredge, K5’s baseball analyst, coached for more than 40 years.
Duane Eldredge has coached for more than a quarter century.
All have ties to Punahou.
* * *
Colorado offensive lineman Max Tuioti-Mariner was visiting UH yesterday. Don’t get excited, folks. He’s here for his brother Clarence “Lafu” Tuioti-Mariner’s graduation.
* * *
Sorry to hear about the passing of Wayman Tisdale. In a memorable 1982 Rainbow Classic, Tisdale’s Oklahoma team lost in the semifinals to North Carolina. The Tar Heels’ top player that year? Somebody named Michael Jordan.
1st?
2nd?
Wow ST, you up early.
Good morning Tsai-kos!!
Happy Friday!!
My cough is almost gone!!! yeaaah, 3 weeks of misery.
ST – any word on the results of the interviews yesterday?
good morning tsai-ko country
another Eldredge at punahou and the saga continues, welcome back
top 5
top 5
jm good to hear y’ur better, knew how it felt cause I had the same thing. now can enjoy the sun and out doors 😛
ST
congrats on the Rough Riders success in boys vb and girls sb….looking good mr. alumnus
koakane,
good morning! amazed you’re not in a mafia war somewhere, haha
good morning tsaikos.
good morning bulla and koakane
So I looked at Southern Utah’s sked, and noticed it was playing at “SDSU” today.
So, naturally, I thought it meant San Diego State.
Too much old-school WAC on the brain.
SDSU stands for South Dakota State.
whitey,
long time brother, all is well on maui i gather?
is your gmail still your active account whitey?
# steve123:
May 15th, 2009 at 4:52 am
257-PIAA
Let me get this straight.
Your entry fee is $10.
And your giving away food, refreshments, merchandise (including a shirt valued at $30).
Somebody should be looking at the NCAA handbook
It goes something like this–The value of the giveaways, like apparel, gear, refreshments and lunches shouldn’t succeed the entry fee.
On the surface it looks like the freebies, especially how you attach a $30 value to the shirt it does succeed the entry fee.
To the people in the know: Is this in compliance with NCAA rules?
ST & Tsaiko Blog Dogs,
I remember going to that Rainbow Classic game. Like all Classic final games it was a “classic”. Hopefully, the Diamond Head one will continue the tradition of classic match ups and games.
Punahou: Looks like the rich get richer.
Good morning Tsaikos everywhere.
Aloha Kakahiaka
Ahhh. another beautiful day in Tsai-ko land!
Happy Aloha Friday..
On this date…
Events:
1902 – Portugal declares bankruptcy
1905 – The city of Las Vegas is founded
1928 – Mickey Mouse makes his debut appearance in Plane Crazy
1940 – McDonalds opens it’s first restaurant in San Berandino, CA
1941 – Yankee Joe Dimagio starts his string of 56 games with a hit
Births:
1953 – George Brett
1956 – Dan Patrick
1969 – Emmit Smith
1974 – Ray Lewis
1975 – Ryan Leaf
Deaths:
2007 – Yolanda King, daughter of Martin Luther King, Jr
2008 – Robert Mondavi
Reposting Pisa update from the end of yesterday’s blog.
Great Morning All!
Top 25!
Back in the day they really were “Classics” 🙂
Thanks for the memories Mr. Tisdale. RIP…
Good morning, everyone. Sad to hear about Wayman Tisdale. Did he perform, or was scheduled to perform — here a couple of years back in the Romance Jazz Festival?
Is Kaiana Eldredge considered more of a baseball or football prospect? He definitely comes from a great athletic family. There is already one top QB recruit in Hawaii, but being an option QB Kaiana can probably has the athleticism to play many other positions.
So Punahou will be (at minimum) the third school young Eldredge has attended in HS?
Good Morning All! TGIF! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.
g’morning…
since post #5, I’ve been thinking of something to say.. and that’s all I could come up with… zzzzz
bulla practicing for retirement
slow with no warrior fb and warrior bball tourny not until next week. no really like to say much about recruits till see what they can do, about the coaches gave my thumbs up to cwade and for wahine coach think cfurtado is good (recruiting a ?) oddah than that all is good
Gmornin gang-
Such sad news to hear of Waymans’ passing. I’ll always remember his playing days in college. He was an inspiration to all us south paws. His music will be shared forever.
Jason- after you finish all your finals today you have our permission to commence your 3 Day Grad/Birthday Weekend Celebration!
Good morning Hawaii!
Gee, top 50 and no prize?
I join MadeinHawaii – nothing to say other than my BW left a bag of jelly belly for me to munch on while I’m on the blog. Guess I have to take 2 pills today for my diabetic condition instead of the usual one.
***From last night***
It’s nice to know, some worry more than others, but yeah if no one reported the news then we wouldn’t know and in that case ignorance is bliss.
When I am at the games, I don’t think about it really. When I am not or there are no games… which is soon to happen… then my mind wanders.
But yeah, I worry and worry a lot… Personality flaw… inside I feel like how Jackson Wheeler looks like on the bench when the other team has the ball and is making their way upcourt. 😆
For me I think the solution is a year around spectator sport! 😛
Good Morning All! 🙂
The local guy side of me is happy to see another Eldredge at Punahou.
The KS alum side has mixed feelings. 😉
But on the balance it will nice to see that legacy continue. The Eldredges are excellent folks. Good luck to Kaiana.
Happy Aloha Friday Tsaikos.
Bacon Salt order has been placed and should be received sometime next week! Soooooo excited to try it. Hopefully it will make an excellent rub for smoked pulled pork at the tailgating festivities.
ST: Commish thinks that the dire financial straits of the athletic department has always been an assumed given. You can look at the half empty stadium and mostly empty arena and just know that proper revenue is not being generated.
Not an easy situation to resolve and Commish does not envy Jim Donovan.
Good morning Tsaikos….Wow, another Eldredge…at Punahou??? Go figure…LOL…
Sad to hear of the passing of Wayman Tisdale…he was sooo young too…
Sad to hear of Wayman Tisdale’s passing. He was a great player.
michelle wie is even thru 9, 2 under total, t24 currently
dean wilson is 5 over thru 6, 2 over total, t109 currently
tadd fujikawa did not tee off yet
dean wilson took a quad 8 on par4 hole number 2
Dean Wilson shooting a snowman? Now I don’t feel so bad when I’m out hacking on the course
Steve 123 re: post #14
A very logical question! Here is the answer.
The NCAA has rules regarding athletes’ participation at college camps and rules regarding what those institutions may charge the athletes, and yes, there are rules prohibiting colleges camps from charging a fee less than the value of the items being given away. The LSDBi states: the institution must assign normal-retail value to the item(s) it provides to camp participants regardless of whether the institution received the item(s) free of charge or at a reduced rate. The normal-retail value of the item(s) must be included in the participants’ admissions fee. These rules also apply to camps where college coaches may be working (situations such as the All-Poly, Just Win, Education 1st type camps). The NCAA rules now prohibit colleges coaches (D1/D1AA only) from attending football combines or any camps where athletes will be timed and tested, thus these rules do not apply to combines, which PIAA is holding.
The NCAA does not have rules regarding what non-academic institutions (? Is that the right word- lets say non-colleges or university camps or clinics), including 501c3 non profit organizations such as PIAA, may or may not do if college coaches are not in attendance. It is up to the athlete to be sure he/she is attending a camp or be involved with organizations that are compliant with rules. However, per the NCAA, who I have been in constant contact with for the past 9+ years, as long as every athlete is paying the same fee (in our case, a tax deductible donation), whether its $10 or $200, the athlete is not in any violation with the NCAA – which is what the NCAA is concerned with and what PIAA is concerned with. For example, at the PIAA Combine, Just Win Camp, All-Poly Camp or Education 1st Camp, all athletes must pay the same fee to participate.
Just an FYI to everyone, Fee waivers and discounts may be offered but it is up to the athlete to know he/she is not allowed to accept any discounts or fee waivers if their goal is to be a college athlete. They may be part of a group rate, but they may not accept any individual discounts or fee waivers. Sorry, Steve123, this is more than you asked for but its along the same lines and very important for parents and students to know during this upcoming camp season.
Please understand that I check on all rules and regulations that may apply whenever it involves the student athletes I work with. I hope this clarifies your concern. Thank you for asking.
I should have added ….paying the same fee and RECEIVING THE SAME ITEMS ….the athlete is not in any violation….etc etc (sorry, fingers type faster than my brain thinks)
Wow.. it’s been three weeks since the end of the WBB Heach Coach job posting and still not a peep. May is half gone, didn’t they say they’d have a decision this month? Hope so.
Wayman Tisdale was one of the best basketball players to ever play in the Rainbow Classic. Didn’t he score something like 35 points in the third place game and didn’t he win the MOP of that year?
You go Doris!
Continued Mahalo’s for all you do to benefit the student-athletes in Hawaii and beyond 🙂
For UH students that pay the full activity fee, UH should offer something like the “Wild Card” that is offered at a number of Universities in the US. It’s like a debit/discount/ticket card for all UH activities and sponsoring store, restaurants, theaters and more. In some places it’s also used as a bus pass or bus debit card. Call it the “UH ELITE” card… or sumptin like dat.
http://www.northwestern.edu/uservices/reference_old/wildcard/wildcard_advantage_old.html
Thanks D1!
madeinhawaii: good idea. At U of A its called the CatCard. Kevin likes it because if he can use it off and on campus (including Panda Express so hes happy). Can use it for hair cuts, he can catch the bus too if he ‘s too lazy to walk back to his apt since mom is too cheap to pay for a parking pass (he only lives 3 blocks away!)
Students could also use it to buy snacks at games instead of carrying cash around and maybe even get deeper discounts or specials… “Use your Elite card and get a free soft drink with every hot dog purchased today!” . Better still, if their picture is on the back of the card to secure their investment.
Piaa DS,
How does Kevin ‘recharge’ his card?
I’m thinking it would be nice if parents could somehow ‘recharge’ their kid’s cards online.
Aloha friday tsaikos.
At my real job today.
In n out throughout the day.
Peace.
I’m out.
mih,
Mrs.d1島 is “recharging” #2 son’s account this very afternoon….with a bank deposit. 😐
Online recharge for gift cards and other debit cards is already done in many businesses.
Hmmm….maybe we should make that deposit AFTER the weekend.
heheheh
Good morning Mr. C…as they used to say on that old series”Hill Street Blues” “Let’s be careful out there….”
I’m surprised that UH doesn’t have something like this for all of it’s campuses.. including all the Community Colleges.
Another thing UH needs to look at is how to get the alumni more involved in the whole UH system. I mean, they always boast about the over 200,000 alumni of UH…that’s is a possible source of revenue as well as a base of general support for the school. I think things other than just calling me once a year to ask for a donation need to be done. I know it’s a commuter school and people in Hawaii don’t have strong ties to the UH so it may be hard to get those who have already graduated to take pride in the university…but somehow the students now…and going forward…need to be instilled with a sense of pride about UH that will carry over once they become alumni. Not sure how that can be done….but I’m sure some people have ideas…
Good morning everyone!
UH graduation tomorrow and a bunch of birthdays coming up soon…keep thinking I forgot something… 😕
I’m saddened by the news of the passing of Wayman Tisdale. He not only was a great basketball player but he had some serious “chops” on the bass. I saw him in concert a few years back and he had great stage presence combined with an infectious smile. Folks should definitely check out his music. Although he was only 44 he truly lived a full life.
King Katonk…that’s true about Wayman Tisdale…I think he also won a grammy or some award for his one of his jazz albums…but I could be wrong….
made in hawaii: I recharge online for him, thru the U of A website. He can also take cash or check and do it in the student union. The really nice thing about it is if he uses it to eat on campus, he gets 20% off his meals when using it..and thats any restaurant on campus or 10% off restaurants off campus. So in the long run, its saves ME money! Im sure if UH has a way parents can pay for anything online, they could recharge the card online as well.
D1 …yes, after the weekend! I’ve learned the hard way! hahaha Monday comes and its “dad, mom , can you deposit….I used up all my money” ugh!
also, as far as being secure, if its lost or stolen, you can go online or to the student union, cancel it and the balance is transferred to a new card and the old card just becomes dead. cant use it or add to it. but unlike a credit card, better know its gone before someone drains it, you wont get your money back. I do know at UofA the photo is on it but who know if that is paid attention to.
Didn’t some college campus cut out ESPN from their cable package because it cost too much? Does UH offer that as well? Maybe cutting it out might also give the activity fee a boost of support. All in all, if the total anticipated discounts/savings over the course of a school year is equal to or greater than the activity fee, there would be no basis for complaints. And UH would have a cash reservoir to get interest off of.
madeinhawaii,
BYU cut out ESPN and replaced with with CBS College Sports. One thing to note is that BYU doesn’t have their games on ESPN and they do have games on CBS College Sports, so in this case they saved money and increased the availability of their games.
When I was an undergrad at Texas, we didn’t have that type of rechargeable card…but that was so long ago! I remember that our dorm had a meal plan and if you missed a meal you didn’t get any credit back. So, we were “forced” to eat 3 buffet meals a day or we wasted our money…any wonder why I gained so much weight as an undergrad? My dorm had 3200 people in it and our “cafeteria” was a full two stories and bigger than Todai *and* Makinos together!
The most notable thing about the ID cards were that they had our social security number printed right on the front in big print, because they used the SS# as the student’s ID number! They changed that policy in the 90s.
Now, students get credits that can be used for the regular buffet meals, or if they miss meals they can go to the snack bar (open until really late at night) or other locations on campus to eat. Still, I guess I didn’t miss out too much by being “forced” to eat all of those buffet meals…
JJ
Thanks. I know u been there before.
This island getting crazy.
Got too watch ur back every where u go.
Especially psychotic bloggers and lurkers from all around the world (wide web) ha ha ha ha.
ummm….what are the chances of kaiana eldredge being accepted at punahou?
garret………there is already more than one qb prospect in hawaii.
jeremy higgins/st. louis school, younger brother of cameron “all american qb @weber st” higgins, is being recruited pretty hard these days.
wayman tisdale came this close to becoming a rainbow warrior. he made a last minute change of heart and stayed home in oklahoma.
Al,
Oops, I left out Higgins, you are correct. With UH taking 3 QBs in this class that with Manley a target for the 2010 class, I guess I forgot about Higgins…and he’ll probably be a great recruit also. That makes it even less likely for Eldredge to be recruited at the QB position by UH, especially considering he was an option QB last year.
“that with Manley” should be “and with Manley”
We need a QB that is multi-dimensional and forces the D to respect his ability to run. A RNS QB that can run will cause all kinds of additional headaches. I dont see that in the names dropped. We already have 3 frosh coming in on full-scholies to stock the cupboard and two have simular attributes and three are 6’0″ or less.
Cannot shotgun-recruit next year and our QB prospect must be more surgically pursued.
Delaware State has forfeited a *conference game* for the upcoming season because they want to play at Michigan (and get the paycheck for playing there).
Coach just asked me to post the UH Football Camp information and links on the PIAA 2009 Camps & Clinics page…so FYI if anyone needs it:
http://www.pacificathleticalliance.com/campQA.htm
Higgins is a darn good qb. Saw him at the camp last year.
warriorfanny2,
I was under the assumption that Manley (who I believe ST reported already has an offer from UH) was the only local QB that UH was going to offer for the 2010 class. Higgins will probably be an excellent recruit, but I don’t focus on recruits that UH isn’t after, and I don’t see how UH could offer two local QBs after taking 3 others in the 2009 class.
Doris,
Best of luck with your camp! Having a big combine like yours in Hawaii is very important for local recruits, where colleges can go by the information recorded at the combine.
ST added this to the top of today’s blog entry…
I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’ 🙁
good afternoon tsaiko from the land of dry heat, rattlesnakes, gila monsters, turkey vultures, jack rabbits, valley quail, and great apache legends.
I finished my work for the week yesterday and finished Monday’s work already today. I guess that is the bright side of my kids waking up early…I guess I should leave the blog and do Tuesday’s work.
Stretch, G’Nalo & other Las Vegas hungry Tsiakos:
Mrs A-House found a small article in the Bulletin (5/12/09) which stated that the Hawaii Legislature passed and sent to the Gov for signature a bill that would make it illegal for Hawaii residents who hit a jackpot in Vegas or Reno or Tahoe to offset the amount by losses wth “markers” or other means.
If signed, it will be retro to 1/1/09.
A committe chair said that he was hopeful that this will cause more residents to stay home for vacations and spend their money in Hawaii. What the heck is this guy thinking? He is crazy if he thinks I am going to use my vacation time in Hawaii.
michelle wie shot 3 under 69, 5 under total, t6 currently
leader is brittany lincicome who is 11 under total
dean wilson is 3 over thru 16, even total, t79 currently
tadd fujikawa is 1 under thru 9, 1 over total, t96 currently
projected cut at pga tour valero texas open is 1 under
wth = with
MAhaly, layson- appreciate the golf updates!
omg…
MAhaly=mahalo!
Doris ~ Mahalo for the advice given. You are truly an asset to Scholar-athlete Moms & Dad!
I have a strong suspicion that your fly-boy son is hot rodding over the skies of Kapolei this morning. He’s made several passes directly over my house, doing barrel rolls and donut holes! heheh..j/k!
If it is, give him my Aloha and let him know the Tsaiko’s are proud of what he’s doing to secure our freedom!…Saaalute!
C’mon, SteveM, I know you can come up with a joke.
braddah a house, this is going to continue in the legislature until we start to elect old farts like us who gives a rat’s arse about what people want to do with their free time. we have too many people in politics now who think that the government should solve all of our everyday problems. next thing you know, they going ask that you keep a record of number of toilet paper you use and submit it with your tax return.
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge.
Stretch’s team had been the victim of three or four close calls by the officials, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal.
When Kekoa made yet another close call in the BigCs’ favor, Stretch blew his top. “How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed a clip in the first quarter.”
Kekoa just stared. Stretch seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. “What it comes down to,” he bellowed, “is that YOU STINK!”
Kekoa stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face Stretch. “And how do I smell from here?”.
COLT WATCH:
http://blog.redskins.com/2009/05/15/meeting-the-coaches-chris-meidt/#continued
(Jason will like this story- Coach is a MATH GUY!)
Meeting The Coaches: Chris Meidt
“When I watch practice, I tend to see you working most closely with the quarterbacks. Can you run through those guys — Jason Campbell, Todd Collins, Colt Brennan, and even Chase Daniel, who you helped to scout — one by one and tell me how they’ve looked based on what you’ve seen this offseason?
Meidt: “I think Jason’s doing just an absolutely awesome job. Even through all the other talk, he just came back to work. He worked as hard if not harder through the chaos. He came in and took charge of this football team during minicamp and OTAs. He was in charge at the line of scrimmage, he used multiple cadences, he audibled — I mean, he did things that he just wasn’t ready for at this point last year.
“He was on receivers if they ran the wrong route, he was on the O-line when they jumped a couple of times … he had complete charge of this football team. So we were thrilled about that.
“And he threw the ball well. Mechanically, he’s getting better every week. He keeps working on that.
“I’m thrilled with Todd’s work and where he is — much better quarterback than a year ago at this time. I think he’s healthier; physically, he’s had a great workout this offseason. Technique-wise, very, very sound. He understands how to get the ball out at the top of his drop, and he understands our offense better now than he did a year ago.
“Colt is still a raw” — it really does sound exactly like rah — “young quarterback. What Colt has is great gamesmanship. He has the ability to make a dramatic throw, and what we’re working on Colt on is what I just referred to with those other two: just being fundamentally very sound on his drops, ball location, decision-making. What Colt can do is just play the game. He can throw from any position, so that’s what makes him special.
“And we’re excited about Chase. We’re very fortunate to get him in as our fourth quarterback to come in and compete in camp. Chase is a great student of the game, incredibly bright, and will work his tail off. So I think we really have four great quarterbacks as we prepare for the year.””
Hey Whitey! Looks like you’re havin a great time over there. How many of them critters have you been lucky enough to see?
d1- BWAHAHAHA!!! 😆
Kekoa.. Billy wont be home until the 20th! You’re too funny! He’ll be in Floriday for the next 9 months (more training and more training)…but the more training the better, keeps him out of the action.(hey, Im the mom!) …but if he gets the chance, give me your address! hahahaha
dpk, this is a very nice place and most of the wildlife comes out in the morning and evening hours. so to avoid the bad guys, i go out when it gets hotter, drink some biru, and enjoy the scenery.
A-House ~
Re: #76
All they have to do if they want to tap into the market is approve gambling like so many other states are doing, and keep the money at home. For those who do not approve of gambling, take the kids Disneyland or other Rec. parks. Lots of other choices. Let the gamblers have theirs.
dpk, when you were at ks, did you know a j berrington, asst football coach?
That’s a keeper, D1!
I have a stale one:
Q: Why did the Hippy cross the road?
Anybody know the answer?
I knew the Berringtons, yes. Good folks. John’s wife was a DA. How do you know them?
Don’t know any ‘clean’ jokes ST. I do know a ‘clean’ funny story that just happens to be true. Would that qualify?
kekoa, your solution to gambling is too simple. our legislature are more intelligent and common sense is eviquivalent to studity to them. they are all religious people, but whenever they have to go to the mainland for conferences, meetings, etc. , they somehow always go to vegas on their way home.
eviquivalent to studity = equivalent to stupidity
dpk, you not going believe this, but their sons john and bobby were my roommates at iowa state.
come on now, I would NEVER yell anything like that to anyone. who you been talking to, Rob25??!!??
D-1 ~ That was the ‘clean’ funny story I was gonna tell! 👿
Wow. Small world. I think the Berringtons I knew were the son John and his wife. The father was a math teacher at KS I believe. The son ended up as a mortgage broker IIRC.
Stretch,
I wasn’t intending to besmirch your fine reputation…forgot to add the disclaimer that the names in the story were changed to protect the innocent…
heheheh
My joke:
Question:
What is white and black and “red” all over?
Answer:
A newspaper
Okay… nobody knows the answer I guess.
Q: Why did the Hippy cross the road?
A: He was looking for “pot” holes.
😆 😆 😆
Pretty stale, yah?
Stretch and A-Joe are “scratch” golfers.
That joke actually has different meaning these days, Wena. Good one!
wf2
we’ve already offered manley.
higgins has the “it” factor and can scramble.
of the three qb’s in the fall, my early pick for front runner is david graves. he was the last one picked up. doesn’t that make you wonder why they went to the well for a third guy? he must be something special as his tapes do indicate and he too can run.
here’s his last four games: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gk6uWiilnM&feature=related
duffer….what body parts are they scratching on the course?
One day I was walking down the beach with
some Tsaikos when someone shouted….
“Look at that dead bird!”
Koakane looked up at the sky and said…
“Where???”
duffer-
Is the “kid” related to Casey Kunitomo?
DPK…I wonder if that was Mr. Berrington, one of my teachers…gawd, what grade was that?
wena….my great, great, grandpa used to tell that joke to my grandpa back in the day.
just how old are you?
or is that in the newsreporter’s wife mandatory list of jokes to tell?
While looking at a house, al asked
midori7 which direction was north because,
he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every
morning.
She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?”
When al explained that the sun rises in the east,
and has for sometime.
She shook her head and said,
“Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
d1….you win. pick up your marbles, er. tickets.
dpk
No, but Aaron his classmate might be. Aaron’s good, nice kid. He father owns B J Pizzeria over in Lahaina.
No act Stretch….he’s had first hand experience. Wait the entire lower level has had first hand experience with your “conversations.” 🙄
Now Frank25 knows what we are talking about also! 😯
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from Ralph who asked
what hours the call center was open. I told him,
“The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
He responded,
“Is that Hawaii or Pacific time?”
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific”
yeah, scratching our heads wondering where our golf balls went.
Wena – you going baseball Sunday?? See you there!!
“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
If I win, WENA gets my tix!
d1 – Nice…you are in true form today!
Note: I think midori7 is better known for saying “Aw, come on!”
jmxxxx has a lifesaving tool in her car
it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk…
D1 must really want them tickets… Let’s just give them to him already.
me? i love blondes…………
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”
LizK,
😆
Where’s las vegas?
Oh, clean jokes…nevah mine
#116 thats understandable, he’s from lanai.
al, thats the best blonde joke I’ve heard! thank goodness Im naturally a brunette!
dpk, you got the right person. the oldest, john, lives in la, and is a 2 or 3 dan akido instructor. bobby lives in hnl.
got to run, as i am in charge of the gulfoo prizes and they waiting for their money. dang, maybe i can get a free drink.
rob25, small world!!!!!!!!!!!
see you all later, alligaters.
# whitey:
I liked the first rather than the latter. The original was more representative of the thought you wished to convey.
You almost made a proper equation.
I just like the jokes….
The other night on the way to the KK homey and HiFlyer were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, they bought 2 cases.
A-sports, the cashier multiplied 2 times 10%
and gave us a 20% discount on both….
PIAA DS
Are you sure you’re not a blonde who became a brunnette then went back to being a blonde and aren’t just having another one of those blonde moments, again?
doris….only your hairdresser knows for sure………..mwahahahaha.
so doris………how many kids are participating in your upcoming combine event as well as the all poly camp?
Hey, whitey:
You still in the high country of Arizona I see. Kicking back, relaxing, thinking of all the salmon, halibut, black cod, etc you goin catch on your 1st trip back to Alaska. Leave dem Dungeness crabs alone!
My older bro wen ask me if I wanted to go with them in July, but had to turn down cause get odda stuff to do – besides, I gotta save all my $$$ for the Seattle/Vegas outing in Sept!!
Kekoa’s soultion may be to simple, but, hey, I could go for dat – a casino in Hawaii. But, it would have to be with the condition that 50% of all profits go to fund all the State owned medical facilites and fund education needs be it buildings, supplies, hire more teachers, build McKinley a football stadium to be used by the Tigers and Bulldogs and Falcons. That’s what they did in Hong Kong. It would drive the Boyds Gaming guys crazy if that happens.
….and finally…
my last trip I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and saw Mrs. A-house working at the luggage service counter. I told her that my bags never showed up.
She gave me a beeeg hug, smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
“Now,” she asked me,
“Has your plane arrived yet?”…
That was funny. I’m not sure if it was because you mentioned Mrs A-House or because I worked for an airline.
BTW, my comment on Stretch and A-Joe was my joke for the contest, but if I win, give it to the A-Houses. Us “airline” people stick together.
One day a Portuguese man walked into a store. He walked up to the counter and said to the attendant “May I please have a spicy Portuguese sausage?”
The attendant replied “Oh, are you Portuguese?”
“You know, I kind of resent that”, said the man. “If I had said I wanted an Italian sausage would you have asked me if I was Italian?”
“No, sir”, said the store attendant.
“Well then how come you asked if I was Portagee?”, shouted the man.
“Because this is one hardware store”, said the attendant.
Q:)Why do the Portuguese have bean soup for dinner on Friday nights?
A) So they can take one bubble bath on Saturday morning.
al,
Dat’s one “clean” one…..I guess 🙄
Hi Everybody!
Here’s my joke:
Senior citizen couple constantly complaining that one is more forgetful than the other, sitting one night watching tv…
A-House: “Eh, honey, I going get a snack…want a bowl of ice cream?”
Mrs. A-House: “Ok, and can you put some strawberries on top?”
A-House: “No problem.”
Mrs. A-House: “Ah, honey, maybe you better write it down?”
A-House: “No need”…
Mrs. A-House: “OK, then, can you also add whipped cream and a cherry?”
A-house: “No problem.”
Mrs. A-house: “Ah, honey, now I really think you better write it down.”
A-House: “No need, I said”…
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
Mr. A-House: “Sorry took so long honey….” (he hands her a plate of bacon and eggs)
Mrs. A-House: (with look of disgust on her face…gives him da stink eye)… “and where’s my toast-es??”
Mrs. A-house,
😆 😀 😆
See you at the game!
Mrs A-House – #139 You sure that’s not REALITY??!!??
d1Shima –
…”ahhhh…so was dat one hamburger wit cheese?…or one cheeseburgaahh?…..
Stretch,
I not sure, but maybe the A-house family end up throwing away plenny bacon and egg plates! 😉
Stretch –
It is most definitely NOT reality!! I ALWAYS ask for toast-es with my bacon and eggs…white bread, lightly buttered…
madeinhawaii…nope, born with light brown hair, always a brunette, just a bottle blonde. Actually I go darker everytime I get the grey out, but the darned sun makes it light again! Im 1st generation Italian-American, how many natural blonde italians do you see around???? (billy is 1/2 irish so he doesnt count)
Al…we have 200 pre-registered for the Oahu combine, we take up to 250. Usually we have about a dozen walk ups because everyone registers early. We expect about 150 at the Big Island Combine on June 6th, which works out well, we can have 400+ athletes participate rather than our normal limit of 250 – gets too crowded on the field if you have more.
I believe the All-Poly camp is almost at capacity, they will admit up to 300. A lot of good coaches have told me they will be there.
Hopefully you can all come watch the future Warriors at the combine, its a great event.
😯
Oh schnap!!! Wena went there! 😆
Hey are we back on the bacon topic again?
what is the best centrally located pizza place. we need to have a meeting with our volunteers before the combine and I cant drag everyone to Kailua. any ideas?
isn’t there a pizza hut that used to be a chunky cheeze in that small strip mall next to the Stadium where the Ice Palace is?
There’s always those shops around Target, must be a pizza place there… and Caesars in K-mart
hmmm, i havent noticed. that might work, as long as its not chucky cheese.
Pro Football Weekly has a nice article on David Veikune.
Pisa might not sign quickly because he’s looking for a big contract.
REAL POSTS on ExtremeSkins- I hope you can follow this:
Re: NFL Video: Meet the Cooleys and PB, Mustard, and Ham Sandwich – Yum!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizKauai :
I’m going to make one of those sandwiches soon. Peanuts are a good flavor in Southeast Asian cuisine so the combo with ham and mustard sounds good to me! I’ll leave the crusts on the bread, though…
HAIL!
__________________
Mark The Homer:
Me too. Might use bacon instead of ham though.
__________________
LizKauai:
mmm… BACON… have you been peeking into the Warrior Beat????
__________________
Mark The Homer:
lol no (I had to google that)
…but Chris did mention trying it with bacon during the vid…
First came swine flu… now it’s bacon fever! And wouldn’t you know it.. everyone’s hamming it up with their jokes.
AL: asked what are the chances of Kaiana Eldridge getting into Punahou.
I don’t know about Punahou but any decent private school would accept someone with a B+/A- average with a bunch of advance placement courses, good attitude, community service, or in the alternative, an accurate fast ball with an average 90mph or better speed!
dio…of course you know that was me joking around, right?
without knowing the academic accolades, i figured he had enough “references” to get him in. (again joking around)
I supppose, though. Right now, if you want to get noticed in a high school sport, Punahou is where you should be.
Garret, the 3 QBs i was referencing pertains to the three we recruited in the class of 2009.
None are over 6’0″ and two are probable skaters (Nielsen n Graves).
Im saying that given our inventory–including Rausch, Austin and Moniz, Im hoping we are more selective and go for a different QB profile who is taller and has the assests to be a runner. These kind dont come dime-a-dozen but we have a stockpile of reserves which may allow the luxury to be more selective. Its still too early, but that appears to be the strategy in 2010.
assests = assets
I’m not in it for the tickets, but here’s one that describes my life …
Girl A: So how’s your boyfriend doing, the math student?
Girl B: Don’t mention that crazy pervert to me anymore! We broke up.
Girl A: How can you say such a nasty thing about him? He seemed to be such a nice boy.
Girl B: Imagine! He was restless during the days and couldn’t sleep at night – always trying to solve his math problems. When he had finally done it, he wasn’t happy: he would call himself a complete idiot and throw all his notes into the garbage. One day, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I told him to drop math. You know what he told me?
Girl A: No.
Girl B: He said, he enjoyed it!!!
It’s not easy to enroll into Punahou as a senior but the name Eldredge carries tradition and weight. No one mentioned, but sis Eldredge teaches Hawaiian Studies at Punahou. C’mon,
the Eldredge ohana has built a legacy at that school and have made outstanding contributions to school and the greater community. They are among Hawaii’s favorite families–without the Punahou label.
only nielsen is under six feet.
graves and shutter are both 6’1″+.
nielsen and graves both ran 4.6-4.7 40’s and are known to be elusive in the pocket as well as good scramblers.
graves played running back his sophmore year.
manley has a solid offer from mack.
if there were anyone to be recruited at qb it would be this guy. we have offered his top wr already.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqRY06UMMbQ&feature=related
wf2…you are right. the eldredge’s have not only created a legacy at punahou, there community service in and outside of manoa valley is legendary. they are also some of the nicest folks around.
i had hoped back then that boy eldredge would get the uh job and to this day it has been rather puzzling as to why he did not get that hc job. perhaps someday down the road.
al, use the 2″ plus rule…. skater=scrambler
I think you are hanging around Chawan too much….
from all accounts the two qb’s are legit heights.
okay, and now i get the jargon, skater. i thought you meant one who gives alibi’s. guess i am showing my age.
har, har.
sayonara….i am off to see a wizard.
oh, i already got tix. if i win please give them to powderpuff. i want to hear her scream at the umpires.
My friends and I, all mathematicians, decided to join Stretch and his fellow engineers and attend a conference on mathematical methods in engineering. After flying to the Mainland, we boarded a train en route to our final destination.
Each engineer had a ticket, whereas we mathematicians only had my ticket. Stretch laughed at us, saying that he was looking forward to the moment when the conductor would show up.
Suddenly, one of my friends shouted, “Conductor coming!” And all of us disappeared into one washroom. The conductor took the ticket of each engineer, and then knocked at the washroom door, asking for our ticket. I stuck the one ticket we had under the door, which the conductor took before leaving. A few minutes later, when it was safe, we all came out of the washroom. Stretch and his fellow engineers were impressed!
When the conference had come to an end, the engineers decide that they were at least as smart as us mathematicians, and also bought just one ticket for the whole group. This time, however, we mathematicians had no ticket at all. Again, one of my friends shouted, “Conductor coming!” Stretch and all of his friends rushed off to one washroom. My friends rushed into another washroom.
But before I joined my friends, I knocked on the door and asked Stretch, “Your ticket, please.”
Last I heard, the conductor kicked out Stretch and his gang in Ruston, Louisiana, where they were never heard from again …
Jason – you are killing me, literally, with your lameness!!
afternoon gang!
hey now, who’s making fun of engineers’
Wow.. I didn’t know there was humor in Engineers.
Hmmmm….
….
Eldridge… if he’s only GOING to be a senior. Might he not grow an inch or two.. or three?
wait…that story isn’t about two girls talking??? It’s about Jason and Chawan talking??? Now that is lame…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok, what’s lamer than me?
Jason’s joke.
ok, my mistake.
Jason’s jokes. (plural)
i just read the 2nd one. 30 seconds of my life gone.
i’d like to win the tickets, but i’m not there.
and we’re already laughing at jason.
Hi!
Okay, to supplement my really bad jokes, here’s a nice comic that made me think of chawan_cut:
http://xkcd.com/303/
Free baseball tickets?
No use to me since I am here and not there. Tsigh.
that won’t win you the tickets.
just like your jokes, no one will get that comic except homey and bigwave.
ha.
Chawan_cut…
Huh? You had us fooled. Everyone here thought you were ‘there’… and not here. Or maybe it was that you’re not all there… oh.. wait.., no… maybe that was Jason they were talking about who’s not all here… but isn’t there either cause he has to graduate here. Because, if that that is, is that that is not, that that is not is that that is. Is it? It is.. Math…so puzzling.
I give up.
chawan_cut’s love life explained. My friend has this on a T-shirt; in fact, she wore it yesterday.
http://xkcd.com/55/
Congratulations to the newest Wildcats from Hawaii
(just released by the Linfield AD)
Iokepa Bahilot, WR, Damien
Kaston Gleason, OL, St. Louis
Kahoku Kama, DB, Leilehua
Maika Kunioka, K, Leilehua
Kaohu McCabe, DE, Kamehameha
Lyle Santiago, DB, Kapolei
Nicholas Shigeta, OL, Damien
GO WILDCATS! x2
you want to see something funny?
http://uhfootball.blogspot.com/2009/05/congrats-to-grads.html
37. PIAA DS
Thank you for answering my question, your response was really thorough.
And I want to express my appreciation for your clarification of the rule. If anyone was reading along they’d certainly agree that your stock went up today. And agreed, too. Best wishes.
Fresno State beat UNLV and Nevada beats Cal Poly in regional play…Go WAC…
Coolen signs Aussie pitcher for 2010, all 5’5 of her with a fastball in the 62-65 range…that’s in the 90’s for baseball..
Jason, Garret and Stretch went to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, Stretch says, “I don’t understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run…”
Garret interrupted him: “…but you didn’t take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning…”
“…so if you’re so hot why are you broke?” asked Stretch. But before the argument can grow, Jason casually takes out his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. Both Garret and Stretch demanded to know Jason’s secret.
“Well,” Jason says, “first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical…”
Haole kid, Japanese kid and [insert your stereotypically dumb ethnicity here] kid are sitting around at recess one day bragging about what they’re going to do when they get older. Haole kid says, “When I grow up, I’m going to be an astronaut and fly to the MOON.” Japanese kid says, “That’s nothing, when I grow up, I’m going to be an astronaut and fly to MARS!” Last kid says, “Big deal, I going be one astronaut and fly to the SUN!” The first two kids laugh, then one of them says, “Eh, Stupid, you fly to the sun you going burn up.” Kid answers, “I not stupid. I going at night!”
Jason and Stretch are stranded together on desert island. They find two palm trees with one coconut each.
Stretch climbs up one tree, gets the coconut and eats.
Jason climbs up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs back down, then climbs up the other tree and puts it there. “Now we’ve reduced it to a problem we know how to solve.”
Stretch, G’Nalo & other Las Vegas hungry Tsiakos:
Mrs A-House found a small article in the Bulletin (5/12/09) which stated that the Hawaii Legislature passed and sent to the Gov for signature a bill that would make it illegal for Hawaii residents who hit a jackpot in Vegas or Reno or Tahoe to offset the amount by losses wth “markers” or other means.
If signed, it will be retro to 1/1/09.
A committe chair said that he was hopeful that this will cause more residents to stay home for vacations and spend their money in Hawaii. What the heck is this guy thinking? He is crazy if he thinks I am going to use my vacation time in Hawaii.
wha…what!!! i’m with you Mr. A-House. if people like gamble…..ur…..go gaming……..they’ll just go to Vegas no matter.
if its an attempt to generate more tax revenue fine, but just say so.
hey now, who’s making fun of engineers’
not me.
As luck would have it, Jason and Garret are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. They both come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly Jason gets a bright idea: “Assume we have a can opener …”
good afternoon tsaiko from the land of dry heat, rattlesnakes, gila monsters, turkey vultures, jack rabbits, valley quail, and great apache legends.
Phoenix or Flagstaff, big difference in temperature. its already over 100 degrees in Phoenix………but beautiful city…….:-)
Jason, Garret, and Stretch were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
“Aha,” says Stretch, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”
“Hmm,” says Garret, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black.”
“No,” says Jason, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
It’s better when a non-mathematician tells the jokes. 😀
Fresnecks 4 SAC 3, LaT 17-9 over NMSU,
NEV 2 SJSU 0 after 5.
Fresnecks needs one more win against SAC to clinch a WAC berth.
1. SJSU* 11-7
2. LaT 12-10
3. NEV* 10-9
4. NMSU 11-11
5. HAW 11-12
6. FSU 10-12
7. SAC 8-12
* in play
what’s old, gray and slimely???
ebolla bwhahahahaha
A-Joe is da winnah so fah- in my book.
But last year’s chicken nut bread is emblazoned in my mind as the best of da best.
what’s the difference between ‘the 40-year old virgin’ and chawan???
‘the 40-year old virgin’ still get chance. hehehe.
bhf2’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to bhf2’s’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” bhf2 answers, “Absolutely.”
“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”
Bhf2, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from bhf2: $100 due for a consultation.
200!!!
who do i win?!?!
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”
“Three dollars an ounce.”
“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”
“Four dollars an ounce.”
“How much for lawyer brain?”
“$1,000 an ounce.”
“Why is lawyer brain so much more?”
“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?”
das ok, i’ll take cc.
come home already …I MISS U!!!
duffer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
“I’m bhf2,” the wincing man said, “and this is going to cost you $5000.”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” duffer replied. “But I did yell ‘fore’.”
“I’ll take it,” bhf2 said.
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
“Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.”
“You can keep the story, old man,” he replies, “but I’ll take the rat.”
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he’s walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water’s edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into the Ala Wai with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
“Ah, so you’ve come back for the rest of the story,” says the owner.
“No,” says the tourist, “I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer.”
SJSU 3 NEV 2, FSU 4 SAC 3, LaT 17 NMSU 9.
Fresnecks needs one more win against SAC to clinch a WAC berth.
1. SJSU 12-7
2. LaT 12-10
3. NEV 10-10
4. NMSU 11-11
5. HAW 11-12
6. FSU 10-12
7. SAC 8-12
TUNDA FROM DOWN UNDA!!!!
Ralph, got a name?
KM,
you have jason! he’s an edumacated man now!
knock knock
who’a dea?
Koa-ma
Koa-ma-who bwhahahahaha
A bumper sticker for artists: “My other car is a bike, too.”
For Ralph:
What music do optoms listen to?
-itunes
What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
-I’ve been framed officer
What type of vision do dustbin men (and dustbin women) have?
-bin-ocular vision
How do you take over the globe?
-with a contact lens
What do you call a deer without eyes?
-No idea
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
– Douthinkhesaraus
What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom boat?
-eye-eye captain
Where do you send a depressed eye?
-to the low vision centre
What did the frame tag say to the frame?
-I have a crush on you.
Knock, knock
whos there?
Got it in one (WHO= World Health Organisation)
How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
-Shine a light in her ear.
Where is the eye located?
-between the H and the J.
Garret and Stretch are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. They yell out for help:
“Helllloooooo! Where are we?”
15 minutes later, they hear an echoing voice:
“Helllloooooo! You’re in a hot-air balloon!!”
Garret says, “That must have been Jason.”
Stretch asks, “Why do you say that?”
Garret replied: “The answer was absolutely correct, and it was utterly useless.”
You know you’re a graphic designer when:
You watch the superbowl just for the commercials
You can spot bad typography from 100 yds away
You are pro-facebook because 95% of the myspace accounts burn your retinas
You can name more than 200 fonts in under five minutes
You are completely immune to subliminal advertising
You look upon a well-designed project with either:
sympathy OR extreme jealousy
Your hand is permanently stuck in the shape of a mouse
You tell stories of exacto-knife inflicted wounds with grizzled sort of pride
You practically take caffeine intravenously
You have an appreciation for everything unique
Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”
The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
Johnnie said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”
“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”
“That’s great”, said Little Johnnie,”coz he’d be screwed if he needed glasses”.
What is the favorite bathroom appliance of a graphic designer? The toilet – because you can make things flush
Q: how many graphic designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: does it have to be a lightbulb?
I think any designer who sticks design jokes to the back of their vehicle is probably prone to regular deployments of Comic Sans.
Stretch, Garret, a Jason, and bulla were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
Stretch chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
Garret chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
Jason chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
bulla chose the thermos bottle.
“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes — so what?”
“Think about it.” said bulla reverently. That little bottle — how does it know?”
Most vehicle designs are jokes.
Garret has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an emperical equation that seems to explain his data. He asks Jason to look at it.
A week later, Jason says the equation is invalid. By then, Garret has used his equation to predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent results, so he asks Jason to look again.
Another week goes by, and they meet once more. Jason tells Garret the equation does work, “But only in the trivial case where the numbers are real and positive.”
Commercial break . . .
Tsai-kos heading to the UNLV game this September!
If you are interested in taking in a performance of the Jersey Boys on Friday, September 18 please e-mail me at wafan at comcast period net. Show time is 7:00 pm at the Palazzo, Venetian.
Here is the address for the Jersey Boys and the Venetian. You will be able to view the floor map and prices by going to the ticket site and clicking “Buy Tickets”.
https://tickets.venetian.com/Online/defaultList.asp?WSseatSearch::Query::current_page=1&Venue_id=94EA5937-DDEC-402C-ADDA-475FFBDCDA3D&doWork::WSseatSearch::search=Search
Tickets are about $65 each in the mezzanine (dark green area on the floor map). Just an effort to try to keep costs down! I would guess the sight lines and acoustics are both great in the theatre.
Of course if we can get a large enough group together to warrant a group discount that would be passed on to you.
We can head over to the Tsai-ko party immediately following the show.
I thought it would be a lot of fun to sit in a group and hum (okay some of us will sing out loud) so as not to disturb others nearby. So, I am willing to order the tickets if you are interested in going. All I ask is that you follow-though and let me know by Friday, May 29!
Anyone interested?
Special thanks to LV for his help with some of the information!!!
Greetings to the Tsaiko Nation!
Even in the doldrums of sports news, the Tsaikos can still amuse themselves! Incredible! Other blogs have laid down and died and laughter still resounds in the T-House.
BTW. May is military appreciation month. We seem to celebrate it every day.
Vinnie…Vinnie…Vinnie!
liz your eye jokes….well that explains a lot of things about optoms.
Free play link time. Please ignore my next 5 posts if you do not want to read the off-topic stuff.
Winged submarine (kind of a flying underwater boat) is now available for sale or for “pilot” training classes. It actually is in the opening credits of the Star Trek movie in theaters now. I think that it is pretty neat that it has positive buoyancy…so, if you crash you end up going to the surface instead of sinking.
Researchers found a way to reduce methane emissions from cattle–cattle are a significant source of greenhouse gasses, so this could have a big benefit for the environment.
HP had to recall 70,000 laptop batteries because they pose a fire hazard.
Junior in high school is horrified that a photo of her in the yearbook apparently shows her private parts–she admits that she didn’t wear underwear to the photo shoot for her club because she didn’t want pantie lines to show…now, she’s staying away from school and her Mom is demanding that all copies of the yearbook be recalled and new copies be printed. The school says that people are just seeing a shadow and not her private parts, but the Mom says that the facts aren’t important because the perception is what matters. Of course there is the matter of a 16-year-old going to school in a short dress with no underwear…
…and yes, because he struck out looking at a great pitch. That canceled the 2 jacks he hit earlier.
Two reporter’s had their cell phones ring during a White House press conference–the White House Press Secretary took the first phone away from the reporter and the second reporter left the room after his phone rang.
Free play links pau.
Wafan,
KAIA PARNABY <–pitcher from Down Under
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.softball.org.au/site/softball/image/thumbnail/17542.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.softball.org.au/%3FPage%3D25117&usg=__5QXEwmuzGhMTv-Svw5m3U5dF9dg=&h=150&w=137&sz=6&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=5IXySYfE9jFmOM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=88&prev=/images%3Fq%3DKaia%2BParnaby%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1
outstanding record
My all-time fay-rit blonde joke:
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then ” he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .
….”Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
Here’s a Filipino joke:
When I ask my pare what are his 3 favorite colors, his response is Green, Pink, and Yellow.
When asked why pare responds, “when de pone go green, green, I pink up de pone and say yellow”.
Bows are scheduled to play the 7 pm game on thursday, first day of WAC tournament…
New England’s former long-snapper sure got a nice contract from Denver, and he’s not even the highest paid long-snapper in the NFL! I hope that Jake Ingram can get something like this someday.
The long-snapper that New England signed in the offseason (before they drafted Jake) is pretty good and has had a good NFL career already.
Jake’s competition is coming off knee surgery, but he’s supposed to be fine for the offseason workouts. He’s a smart veteran and is already working with New England’s punter and kicker to form a bond and work on their chemistry. This 8-year NFL vet isn’t going to just let Jake have his job.
Congrats to the BaseBows!
😀
Mililani Girls win the State Softball championship….congratulations girls, a job well done…
Congratulations to all the UH athletes who are getting their degrees tomorrow….well done finishing Job1!
3100+ at the Murakami tonight, the program’s red number must be shrinking, two more games to pad the attendance….JD must be sleeping better these nights
baseball game rescheduled for 7:30 pm tomorrow night because of graduation…
242
243 😆
244 ❓ who got the tickets ❓
245 😎
246 😆
247
248 😈
249 ;-0
❗ 250 ❗
251
Nitey Nite and sweet fishi…. I mean, WARRIOR Dreams!
It will be best circumstances for me, I wana to joing game………